Sirius in the Doghouse
by Hollowg1rl
Summary: Random stories of Sirius Black in various points in his life. May contain AU or other such nonsense. Sporadic Updates; Multiple Pairings; May contain slash or triads; May contain Violence or Hint at Adult themes; Various Ratings from K-T 1:Chocolate Bar (Maurauders); 2:Frisky Whiskey-Sirius and Hermione share some drinks after 5th year (Of age; Sirius didn't fall through the veil)
1. Chocolate Bar - K

_**I do not own Harry Potter or anything you recognize from the Harry Potter world.**_

* * *

Sirius snuck into his own dorm room, knowing that if he failed in this private mission, he would never hear the end of it. Seeing as it was only October, he was hoping to avoid that fate. Luckily, James was at Quidditch practice, Peter was in detention after being caught out after curfew on his way back from the kitchens, and Remus was in the library studying with Evans.

So, it was with this in mind, that the dark haired youth snuck into his best mate's trunk searching for Honeydukes chocolate bars.

He had no idea that Remus had forgotten a book he needed to return, and was thus on his way back up to the dorm room.

Just as Sirius located the last chocolate bar in the "secret" stash, Remus walked in and leaned against the door frame.

"Padfoot, what in Merlin's name are you doing?" He asked, shaking his head as he took in the form of one of his best mates kneeling at his trunk and holding aloft his last chocolate bar.

"Moony!" Yelping, Sirius fell back onto his bum, stuttering until he sent his most charming smile to the werewolf. "I was just going to put this out on your table for when you got back! That's all, mate!" He could instantly tell Remus didn't believe him. The look on his face said it all.

"Padfoot, that is my last chocolate bar and we don't have another Hogsmeade weekend until next week. You ate all of yours yesterday, while Wormtail and Prongs finished theirs last week. You were going to take it, weren't you?" There was no anger, just mild amusement at the predicament the first Black sorted into Gryffindor found himself in.

"No! Why would I take my best mate's last chocolate bar?" Sirius would deny this until his last breath, be was not going to admit to trying to steal Moony's chocolate, not with the full moon only a few days away.

Remus raise one eyebrow, used 'Petrificus Totalus' on the dark haired Gryffindor and took the chocolate bar. Grabbing his book, he waved at his friend as he left their dorm room, taking the chocolate with him for safe keeping.

.:':. ':.:' .:':.

The Marauders didn't let Sirius live it down, taunting him for trying to steal Remus' chocolate for a solid month before they finally found something new to do, mostly hexing Slytherins in the halls. Though when it came time for the next person to take the blame so the other three got off detention free, Sirius was the one to take it. With Professor Sprout of all Professors!

She had him fertilizing the green houses, which in turn made him reek for a week.

"See, Padfoot, this is what happens when you try stealing chocolate, you end up in the doghouse. Now, grab a blanket and go sleep in the common room, you stink!" With that, the other three boys threw dirty laundry at the fourth member of their group until he left, laughing all the while.


	2. Frisky Whiskey - T

"Here ya are. With how you're drinking, you must be in the doghouse. Trouble with the little misses?" The bartender was trying to be friendly, seeing as it was early afternoon and Sirius was the only one in the pub at this hour.

Downing his eighth shot of whiskey, the last surviving member of the House of Black that was still a black gave a low dark chuckle.

"Something like that." He admitted, the gleam to his grey eyes a touch unnerving, though the bartender had already averted his eyes to clean a mug before the evening rush. "Maybe I should get back to the little lady, before she starts to worry." There was a calculated look on his face, before he wiped it away and took on another, much more contrite, look.

"Do I look repentant enough?" He inquired, using the full set of his acting skills to make himself look contrite for any misdeed.

The grizzled old bartender laughed and nodded, not knowing it was all a trick.

"Aye, that'd do the trick alright. Best of luck to ya lad." Taking the payment for the final drink, the Muggle waved the wizard off, unaware things were not what they had appeared to be. Also unaware of just what had brought Sirius out into the Muggle world, given that his godson was due to arrive late that night.

':.:'

"Its simply barbaric! How can you still follow that ideology knowing what it does to anyone that isn't Pureblood!" Hermione's hair puffed around her head from the excess moisture in the air, though Sirius was more interested in the spark in her chocolate brown eyes.

After his rescue back in '93, Sirius had plenty of time to calculate just how often the girl must have used the Time Turner in her third year. Given the number he had come up with after playing with it for a month with nothing else to do, he figured she was of age now. She was also a little spitfire and he couldn't help himself from riling her up, just to see that lovely shade of red on her cheeks.

He was more mentally sound than many of his family, that much was true, but being locked in Azkaban for twelve years was enough to shake even the soundest of minds. He had only been twenty-one when he was thrown in without a trail, and his mental age had been stunted to that of a man in his early twenties. Three years was enough to catch him up on most things, but what he missed the most, now tha this body was fully healed and his health and stamina what it once was, he was more interested in the girl for things other than her sharp mind.

Oh, he loved a brilliant bird, they were more passionate than most of the slags he had slept with to piss his parents off about, but they also required something to push them into bed with him. Hermione was in the brilliant category, and thus far, he hadn't quite figured out just what her trigger would be. House Elves were a touchy subject for her, he knew, but he couldn't treat Kreature with the respect she wanted him to.

Creature rights usually came right back to House Elves, so that was something he tended to avoid, unless it was about werewolf rights. Those, now those they both agreed upon needing to be updated and fixed so Remus could happily marry and have a litter with Sirius's cousin Nymphodora Tonks. He was happy for the both of them, after Hermione had done research into if the gene could be passed along to children. It couldn't, so Sirius was constantly making it so the two ended up in a room alone together every chance he got.

That little tidbit of information had Sirius lifting and spinning the little Muggleborn around the room happily.

At least, it had until he had started drinking.

It had started innocently enough, downing some firewhiskey in the evenings, Granger huffing and storming off because he was drinking. Then, she had come to Grimmauld Place wounded because of the Ministry. She wasn't safe at home, no, so he had offered her a place here to recover. It was slow, and she spent most of her time sleeping, reading and downing potions to recover a tiny bit faster.

She was mostly healed now, all but the burning in her chest because of the purple fire curse that had nearly taken her life. They still weren't certain what it was the Death Eater cast.

"Here," Sirius handed her a glass with elf made wine, the one type that was cool as ice sliding down your throat and into your belly. At her scoff, he informed her as such and urged her to drink it to cool down some. Merlin knew the cooling charms wore off within an hour of being applied.

"Thank you," Hermione mumbled it into the rim of the glass, but took a swallow all the same. A sigh of relief escaped her as she felt the coolness easing some of her discomfort.

From there, it had been innocent, at least, until he had drank a bit too much firewhiskey, and Hermione downing a touch to much of the wine as it had actually cooled the unbearable heat in her body.

They had been sitting on a sofa, chatting softly as no one else was about that day. She had turned toward him, her head tilted upward to say something. He had turned toward her, his tilted down. Their lips had brushed by accident that first time, a soft gasp of surprise from the younger, a low groan from the elder.

It was escalated from there, the kisses growing more heated, and before long, they had left the sitting room and were in Sirius' bedroom. Things progressed further then, both falling asleep afterward, Hermione trembling a bit from exhaustion and from the cold of the wine settled in her stomach. Sirius holding her close to his larger frame and basking in the warm softness of a woman in his bed after so very long without.

When they awoke, it had not been to a shy word and a blushing bird, no, it was to an enraged wildcat hitting and clawing at every inch of exposed flesh she could reach. Sirius restrained her, and when that didn't work, cast a light sleeping charm and quickly left the house into Muggle London, seeking an escape, and ending up in a bar.

The bartender, noticing and recognizing the look on the man's face, had of course assumed Sirius was in the doghouse with his lady. It was partially true, yes, but now that he had his fill of Muggle whiskey, he was willing to see if Hermione had calmed any, and if so, if she was willing for another round.


End file.
